ONE MINUTE SILENCE…act of attentive listening

Analysis…

You may not be able to demystify why some people are just the way they are. Some say accept me for who I am, some say shape me, mould me, and transform me. Others say can I share some thoughts with you?

But one thing is certain, without bias, all that we will amount to be will greatly depend on how much we are able to listen to others’ contribution, assess them, refine them, augment them and position them for variety of use – fashion, teaching, footballing etc , all will require that you listen so that you won’t be lessened.

I have found that paucity can be a blessing and self-will can be pitiable. If the aim of paucity is to absorb, with expectation to listen and learn, then it’s a blessing. However, if paucity results from incompetence or confusion or lack of certitude as to what to do next, then it might be a pitiable disgrace.

It is not wrong to hold fast to beliefs, but it is wrong to be too rigid and dogmatic with it without listening to others. Mark you, others might be wrong. In fact, majority are usually not right. What you believe should be subjected to continuous check and evaluation or juxtaposed with alternatives or other people’s belief for you to know the fidelity of what you belief – whether it’s still right, tenable or whether it demands adjustment. Beliefs should be strong and what we live by, but must be amenable to accommodate better ranking.

But how do you know which is better when you don’t even care to listen to others – real tale bearing and deception I call it. Just by listening you could realize that you were not just wrong but imperfect. It is major rule of courtesy in our verbal communication.

How do you feel when you are interrupted half-way in your conversations? Unfulfilled?

Why? – because communication is a means, message is an end! Communication styles and languages all must come to the focus of messages. If the message is broken, it loses coherence and linkages and sometimes flow of thought such that it doesn’t make any sense. No matter how much words u have used, how much vocabulary or diction efforts in place, it will amount to naught without the message.

Some people fail exams because they do not listen. They do not listen to the details of the instructions, they just read. You don’t just read through instructions, you listen to instructions. Hence, from the instruction page, you must learn to listen to examiner, understand his mind, visualize his countenance and check what he is up to by listening.

You will be amazed that what you are reading is not what he meant to say, but what he meant to test. He wants to test whether you can read between the lines; whether you were in class with your memory and check how confident you are about your answers even though you know them. So the examiner comes up with all styles – fill in the gap, negative marking, multi-choice questions and particularly most stringent is the yes or no format. He’s just testing your listening, not your reading ability.

Listening is such a virtue that just by standing before and audience and pausing, it creates attention. They became quiet. Meanwhile, you are listening more and communicating less. You are listening to their countenance, response, body language, but you are communicating authority and attention. Attention makes you be in charge. However, to them, you are communicating silence, or almost nothing.

Even in prayers, we like to talk to God but don’t bother to listen to God. Even when he’s chastising you, it looks like criticism but you cannot know since you don’t listen. Whereas, the scripture records that; to anyone who cares to listen, a valid criticism is like gold to the earing. Your listening does not make the criticism/chastisement valid, it is valid already, it only permits it to work.

Some people argue a lot, and these people are customers to some business. It is said that the customer is always right. But in all honesty, sometimes, the customer may be wrong. But when he is wrong, he comes complaining, attacking your business and you cannot/may not be able to change that fact.

Now the shocker is, do you know that just by listening to their complains, some customers are just okay. All they need is your attention, listening and probably your “sorry”. Many of them don’t even expect you to fix the problem immediately, but need you to accept and recognize that there is a problem and accept the responsibility for that.

Listening is critical and important in your business success, interpersonal relations, academics and even your spiritual life. That is what I have just shown you to some extent. Listen, listen and listen real good!